I Feel Like a Stalker
by Nothingsperfect
Summary: I have always been good at helping people by thinking up crazy plans. So, with this in mind I thought it would be a good idea to set up a business of sorts, exchange help with life, for chocolate. Worst. Idea. Ever.
1. The Favour

"I'm going to die, I'm going to die. Why the hell did I even come here?"

Meet my best friend, Molly Weasley, winner of the best complainer award and quite proud of it. I rolled my eyes at her and pushed some of my blonde, curly hair out of my face. "No one asked you to be here Mollz."

She huffed loudly and gripped the tree tighter. "This branch is going to snap and I'm going to fall."

I shifted my position slightly so I could see her and found that she was gripping the trunk of the tree like a koala, she looked retarded. "Moll, you're not going to fall. Calm down and take deep breaths." She gripped the tree tighter and slowly started making her way down the tree. "What are you doing?"

"Climbing down before fall and die?"

In my haste to stop her from doing so I almost fell off the thin branch I was lying on. Luckily I grabbed her arm and righted myself without making enough noise to alert the boys sitting at the base of the tree. "Are you crazy?" I hissed, "they can't see us, okay? If they see us the whole plan is ruined!"

She gives me her best puppy dog eyes, which are enough to melt most people to a pile of goo. Luckily for me, I've known her long enough to be immune to such things. "But Thea, I don't want to die!"

I sighed, Molly was absolutely terrified of heights unless she was on a broom. I had never understood the difference, but then again, I've never been scared of heights. Molly's probably the weirdest and most confusing person I have ever met, well, if you don't count me. I've been told I'm pretty weird. "Molly Weasley, listen to me. It was your choice to accompany me, so you will sit in this tree until this false of the plan is over. Do you understand?" She nodded numbly and I turned back to watching the boys sitting below me.

I'm not complaining though, a certain redish-brownish haired boy is sitting in that group and he certainly isn't hard to watch. In fact, I could stare at him all day... until I got hungry and needed to get some chocolate. Yeah, I may have a slight obsession with chocolate.

Shut up, I'm not fat thank you very much; I just have a healthy obsession with all things chocolate. Understood? Good.

Anyway, I am not here to stalk him, I am here because Emma Finnegan came to me with a problem concerning a certain Jason Wood, who happens to be James best friend and is also sitting under the tree. So if you don't mind, you can keep your stalker insults to yourself.

"Mollz, can you cast the charm now?" She carefully removed one arm from around the trunk of the tree and grabbed her wand from her pocket. Shakily, she reached out and tapped me on the head, murmuring the spell under her breath. I shivered as the disillusionment charm was placed before turning back to the group sitting beneath me.

I'd purposely positioned myself so I was on a branch directly above Jason, making it easy to put the plan into action. I put my hand in my pocket and carefully took out the small bottle I'd placed there only an hour before. After uncapping the lid I carefully poured the liquid into Jason's hair.

Since my aim isn't the best half of it ended up on his shoulder and spread across, dying his shirt purple. The liquid that did land in this hair spread across his scalp and efficiently dyed his hair. I grinned in satisfaction when James and Scott starting laughing hysterically, pointing at Jason's hair and telling him how much of a twat he looked.

Wow, suck loving friends he has.

I tried my hardest to suppress my giggles as Jason started freaking out, screaming and trying to get the dye off his shirt. He hadn't even noticed the dye in his hair yet. This was going to be entertaining. "Thea, let's go while they're distracted! Come on!" Is she insane? He hasn't even seen a mirror yet!

"Mollz, he hasn't seen his hair, when he does, I will leave." I thought this was a fair enough compromise but apparently I was wrong. She yanked on my arm, causing my body to twist around and my legs to dangle from the branch. Thank god I was invisible because otherwise, they would've seen me. "Are you crazy?"

"We are going, full stop, end of story, bye-bye."

"No, I want to see him freak out about his-" I was cut off my a rather girlish scream. I looked down to see that Jason had noticed his hair and was now sprinting towards the castle, leaving his two hysterical friends behind."What the hell? I missed it!"

She rolled her eyes and pulled me up so I was sitting safely on the tree branch. "Whoopty do, now can we go before I fall to my death?" Molly can be a tad dramatic at times, it can get quite annoying. I mean seriously, we are like four metres high and she looks like she's about to have a panic attack. I hope she doesn't though, I'm not good with crying people, I have to be the worst at comforting people.

It's actually quite pathetic.

"Fine, but you owe me chocolate." She nodded frantically, slowly climbed down the back of the tree, and hid in the bushes. I followed quietly, not wanting to be heard by the two boys still laughing hysterically. I sat down next to Molly and tried my hardest to wait patiently for Scott and James to leave.

I was failing in case you were wondering. "Why can't they just leave already?"Molly rolled her eyes and tried to et comfortable, back to her normal self now that we were out of the tree. "I mean your friend ran off screaming, the polite thin to do would be to go see if he's okay."

Molly rolled her eyes and glared at her cousin, looking quite like a little kid whose mum refused to give her desert."I know, James can be such a prat sometimes."

I glared at her as menacingly as possible but like always I failed, (I suck at being scary) and she started laughing at me. Laughing! Please remind me why she's my best friend. "Take that back." She grinned and shook her head, evil she is. "TAKE IT BACK!"

She managed to choke out a "No!" through her insane giggles. Man, I need new friends.

I lunged at her and pinned her to the ground, this doing nothing to suppress her insane giggles. "Molly Weasley, take that back right now or I swear to god you will regret it!" She laughed harder and more insanely, completely ignoring my threat. "Molly!"

She took several deep, calming breathes before looking me straight in the eye, still smirking slightly. Bitch. "Thea, I like how you stick up for your friends, and it's really sweet but you do realise you're about as threatening as a... a... two day old kitten?"

"Ouch."

Okay, I have to admit she's right, I never really got the whole being scary thing down pat, and I also happen to hate confrontation, but still! That was a little too low if you ask me. I pouted bys he just rolled her eyes ad poked me in the stomach, "Get off me you fatty."

I narrowed my eyes at her and smirked evilly, thinking of a plan. "So, I'm as threatening as a two day old kitten am I?" She giggled quietly and nodded like a retarded dog. "Well, can two day old kittens tickle people until they can't breathe?" Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and she shook her head frantically. Yeah that's right, not threatening my arse.

I reached out and started tikling her, this causing her to start giggling rather maniacally and loudly, squim around and try to hit me. "ALTHEA CARYA COOPER, STOP OR I'LL TELL THE WHOLE SCHOOL YOUR FULL NAME!" I quickly clapped a hand over her mouth and glared at her, which only made her giggle more, evil.

"What the hell are you doing Molly?"

Exactly what I was thinking! ...Wait a minute, I know that voice. That sounds suspiciously like... no! I whirl around and sure enough Scott and James were standing on the other side of the bushes, staring at us with raised eyebrows. Crap, crap, crap, crapity crap. "Er... I'm.. I'm.. er..."

Before she could jumble out something stupid and make the situation worse I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Sorry, but something very urgent has come up and we have to go, like now, sorry!" I pushed past them and sprinted towards the castle, dragging a grumbling Molly behind me.

...Yeah, this is why I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor.

We collapsed in the entrance hall. Okay, to be more exact I collapsed while Molly sat on the floor next to me. Leave me alone okay? We can't all me fit Quidditch freaks. "Never...doing...anyone...a favour...again." I wheezed, struggling to draw in breath.

Molly rolled her eyes, clearly not caring about the fact that her best friend is dying right next to her. "Oh please, yes you will. You'll always help people who ask, you're too nice for your own good."

...True. I really should ask for something in return next time, this is way too much effort to do for free.

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><p>So.. here's a new story. I was going to wait to post this until after i finished Art of not caring but... well... yeah.<p>

Anyway, this character is really different to my other ones, so feedback is great! Please review :)


	2. The Idea

I jumped on Molly's bed and shook her roughly, not at all surprised when she told me to piss off. Charming person my best friend is. I lied down next to and watched as she cautiously opened one eye, which was filled with suspicion. Ouch. "Whata you want?"

"Well aren't we happy this morning."

She mumbled incoherently into her pillow, probably complaining about how it's too early or I'm too loud or She's too tired or school starts too early or she's hungry. In other words, she's complaining about something. "Get up sleepy head, today's the day, I'm finally going to do it!"

"No you won't."

I ignored her and continued explaining my life changing decision. "Today, I, Thea Cooper am going to do it, what I've always been wanting to do, I'm finally going to do it!"

"No you won't."

"I'm going to say no. It's that simple, when they ask-which they will- I'll just say no. I'll tell them I'm too busy, exams are coming up and I need to study, I can't keep doing this if I keep getting absolutely nothing in return, I'm going to tell them, today is the day I stop being the person everyone comes to for favours, I refuse to be used anymore!"

"They'll guilt you into it, like they always do."

I sent her a glare which she ignored, probably cause she'd closed her eyes again, lazy."They won't, I'm going to start putting myself before others, I'll give them advice but no more am I thinking up crazy plans that I have to go through with, I am no longer that girl!"

"That's what you said last time." She pulled the blanket over her head and rolled over, turning her back to me. Ouch, well I see how it is! Why am I even friends with her again?

"You could try to be a little more supportive?" She ignored me and snuggled more comfortably into the blankets. I took this as a perfect opportunity to push her off the bed and onto the floor where she landed in a tangle of blankets. "Get your fat, lazy self up this instant before I make you."

"You sound like my sister."

She did not just say that, that is too far. I jumped on her and pinned her arm to her sides, giving her my best death glare. This of course just made her start laughing, well, glad she finds me entertaining. "I do not sound like your annoying, controlling, up herself, nerdy, insane, sad excuse of a sister."

"She's not that bad..."

I gasped and stared at her in shock, never thinking I would hear those words coming from her. "Are you kidding me? She gave us a detention last week!" it was quite annoying really, all we did was go for an innocent midnight snack and I accidently fell down one of the staircases, waking up all the portraits in the process.

... Did I mention it was an accident?

She looked at me as though she was seriously worried about my mental health. You're not the only one, you're not the only one. "Hey, I hate detention as much as the next person but we did wake up like half the castle, remember?"

Yeah, I lost a lot of hey-I-don't-really-know-you-but-I-always-say-hi-to-you-when-I-see-you-friends that day. It's quite depressing really, I miss saying hi to random people I don't know in the morning, it was like a ritual, and now it's gone. I must have a minute of silence every day in remembrance of this ritual.

...What the hell am I thinking?

"Umm... Thea?" I shook my head and blinked rapidly, trying desperately to remember what we were talking about. Yeah, I'm not the smartest person in the world. "You don't remember what we were talking about do you?" I shook my head. "Don't worry, it'll come back to you, we'll talk about it when it does."

Ladies and gentleman, this is why I'm best friends with her, she accepts my crazy flaws.

"Now get your fat butt off me before you flatten me." Sometimes it's hard to be like her, I mean as nice as she is, Molly can be such a pain in the ass. I mean this in the nicest of way of course. "I'M DYING!"I rolled my eyes and stood up, not at all surprised when she pulled the blanket back over her head.

I nudged her side with my foot, which she oh-so-kindly ignored. "Get up you lazy cow!"

"Nefferuucue." Me, being the ultra skilled person I am was able to translate that to 'never, you cow.' Yeah, be jealous of my awesome skills and bow down to me, BOW DOWN TO ME! Molly lifted her head and looked at me funny, "What did you just say?"

...Shit. "What? I didn't say anything."

She shook her head slowly and laid her head back down. "No, I'm pretty sure you just screamed out 'bow down to me!'" Woops, I hate it when that happens. Good thing our other dorm mates have already left and don't have any more reason to doubt my sanity.

"No, you must be imagining things, now get your ass up and have a shower, you smell."

She snorted oh-so-attractively and rolled her eyes, something she appears to be doing a lot lately. "Lay off the compliments there love, you don't want to inflate my ego too much now do you?"

"Exactly what I was thinking!"I grinned at her and pulled her roughly to her feet, much to her dismay. Ignoring her shouts and death threats I threw her into the bathroom and locked the door before laying on my bed to wait for her to get out. Which wouldn't be long, she never takes long to get ready.

I pulled out my defence textbook and started to read, smirking at the occasional shouts of 'It's to fucking early' or 'Mornings can kiss my ass' that were coming from the bathroom. Mollz could be a tad too dramatic at times. I was humming some annoyingly catchy tune I had heard someone singing yesterday when the door burst open and Vicky burst in, looking frantic.

She brushed some of her usually-neat-but-now-surprisingly-bushy hair out of her eyes and collapsed on the end of my bed. I threw my book across the room somewhere and crawled over to her, not exactly sure what to say. I told you I was bad with emotional people. "Vicky? What's wrong?"

She blew some of her hair out of her eyes and tried to glare at me, but looked a tad too upset to pull off the threatening look. "How many times do I have to tell you, it's Victoria." I shrugged innocently and repeated the question, glad when she sat up and took a deep breath. "Ryan's cheating on Madeline."

I gasped and pretended to be shocked when really it wasn't that surprising. Ryan has to be the biggest man whore I have ever met, and yet he always manages to find a new victim, ahem I mean girlfriend, since he plays Quidditch and is really hot. "Really?"

She nodded hugged her knees to her chest, looking extremely venerable. I even noted, that her eyes were slowly filling with tears. Shit, shit, shit, shit! "I went to the library to return a book and I told Madeline I'd meet her in the great hall, and on the way back I used the shortcut on the fifth floor and there he was, snogging some random slutty little Ravenclaw!"

Tears started flowing freely down her face and I found myself wishing desperately she had gone to Tilly instead, she's the one who people go to when they need to talk about their problems, she always knows how to comfort them. Me? Yeah, not so much. "Did they see you?"

She shook her head and sobbed into her hands, I awkwardly patted her on the back. "No, I r-ran as so-soon as I saw t-them. Madeline's going to b-be so upset! I can't t-tell her though, s-she won't believe me and she'll h-h-hate me forever and I-I'll lose my best friend!"

I hugged her tightly and tried to ignore the wet patch that was appearing on my shoulder already. "Shh, she won't hate you! You two have been friends since first year; she won't throw your friend ship away so quickly!" She sobbed harder and started attempting to squeeze the life out of me. "Calm down..."

"I can't! S-she won't want t-to believe it! She'll q-question it and t-think I'm making it up o-or something!" I hugged her tighter and tried desperately to calm her down. "I-I need your help."

I froze, wishing desperately that my ears were deceiving me. "What?"

She sniffed and wiped her face on her sleeve, staring at me with watery eyes. "Please, I need your help to get back at him and to make sure Madeline finds out without us having to tell her!" Crap, why can't she be ugly and not crying and begging me to help her?

I shifted awkwardly and bit my lip, silently praying for Molly to come in now since I could o longer hear the shower. "Well, you see... I've kinda decided to sop helping people so much, I mean I can give you advice but I don't have the time to think up these plans and go through with them..."

She shook her head frantically and stared at me with wide, teary eyes. "No, you have to help, please!"

"But, it's OWL year and I actually need to study this year..."

She broke out in sobs again and grasped desperately to my soaked shirt. "B-but I n-need your help! Y-you have to h-help me o-or I don't k-know what t-to do! P-please, just h-help this o-once, f-for m-m-me?" I nodded and she started to sob into my shoulder again, muttering 'thank you' over and over again.

I looked up when I heard the bathroom door creak open to reveal a very amused Molly, who smirked at me and mouthed '_told you so!'_

I gave her the finger.

* * *

><p>So here's the second chapter! Thank you for the feedback, it was really great :D Sorry i took so long to update, i just got back from shool camp :\ But i updated two of my stories today! So hopefully that makes up for it...<p>

Review? :D


	3. The Complication

I groaned and bashed my head repeatedly against the table, earning me several curious looks from the other students sitting at the Hufflepuff table. No one asked about it though, they're used to my insanity by now.

I was so annoyed at myself for being unable to say no to Vicky that it wasn't even funny. The only upside that it was a simple favour, all I had to do is check the map to see when he was cheating, get Vicky to bring Maddy there and BOOM! Problem solved.

A problem that wouldn't be mine if I wasn't so spineless."I hate myself; I am a spineless, stupid, cowardly idiot who should be locked up in Azkaban to save the human race from catching my stupidity."

"Actually, that's impossible, stupidity isn't contagious and they don't lock people in Azkaban for such trivial things! Everyone knows that!"

I lifted my head to see that sure enough, Lucy had joined me during the death of the precious brain cells I have left. She's not even in Hufflepuff, but likes to sit with us because she feels so much more intellectually superior when she doesn't sit with Ravenclaws. See, us Hufflepuffs can use big words too!

"Luce?" She nodded at me politely, indicating for me to continue. "Either shut up or piss off. It's far too early to listen to your nerd talk."

She crossed her arms and glared at me, still managing to look scarier than me even though she's a midget who wears glasses. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE MANAGE IT? "I'm not a nerd, a nerd is a foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious. I am not foolish not do I lack social skills, I am able to engage in conversation with people easily!"

"Yes, but are you able to tell when people don't want to talk to you or have you talk to them?" Man, I feel like I'm speaking nerd! I must wash my mouth out after this. I think there's a spell so that I can do it without my mouth tasting like soap... I'll have to look it up in the Library.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" I blinked rapidly and saw, as my eyes finally focused again, that Lucy was glaring at me again, looking extremely annoyed. Whoops. I bit my lip and glanced at Molly, who had now taken up destroying her brain cells via head bashing. She's okay though, she still had heaps left.

I decided to take a risk and have a go at lying, you never know, it could be one of my undiscovered talents."...Yes?" She crossed her arms and looked at me expectantly. "You were answering my question, duh."

"What exactly was my answer?"

I looked over at Molly, silently begging her for help. She jumped up and grabbed my arm. "Sorry Lucy, I just remembered that I have an essay to finish and since I have double frees first I think I'll spend them in the library. It's been lovely talking to you, see you later, love you!"

Lucy opened her mouth in protest but I scrambled over the bench and raced out the door after Molly before she could utter a single word. Yeah, take that you intellectual freak.

We ran up ridiculous amounts of steps before I finally collapsed somewhere on the third floor, wheezing and struggling to draw in breath. Molly sat down next to me, looking perfectly fine and not tired in the slightest. That's it, I officially hate her. "You are so unfit."

I took several deep breaths and tried to control my rapid breathing, not having much luck though. Stupid unfit body. "That's why I haven't tried out for the Quidditch team, you loser. And the fact that you guys have training like 24/7."

"You shou-"

I groaned and sat up, cutting her off before she could start her you-love-flying-and-Quidditch-so-why-don't-you-try-out-for-the-team speech before she bored me to death. "No, I don't want to join the freaking Quidditch team. But I'm thinking it may be time for me to get into shape, this is fucking killing me."

"Yeah, it'll be good to have company during my workouts for a day or two."

"A day or two?"

She nodded and grinned at me, not looking even slightly ashamed. "Thee, be reasonable here, we all know you're going to give up on this soon enough. The only plans you actually go through with are the ones you do for other people. You're just a tad lazy."

I glared at her, which I should seriously just give up on, I fail at it that much. "Shut it." She laughed but didn't reply, choosing to lie down next to me instead. "So do you really have to finish an essay?"

She nodded, not even bothering to open her eyes. "The one for charms."

"Yeah, that's due in a few days, we should really work on that."

"Yes, we should." We were silent for a while before we turned to each other and grinned, "So chocolate fest?"

"I think so!"

She was about to reply when we heard a loud crash coming from one of the classrooms about 200 metres away. I sat properly and tried to get a closer look just as Ryan came running out the classroom, taking off in the opposite direction to us.

I exchanged a panicked look with Molly before running to the classroom where we could just faintly hear sobs. We flung the door open and stopped dead at the sight that greeted us. The classroom looked like a hurricane had come through it; tables and chairs scattered all over the room and Vicky was sitting against the wall, sobbing into her hands.

Molly ran over and threw her arms around her, murmuring reassuring words under her breath.

What was I doing, you wonder? Well, I stood frozen, staring at the sobbing girl in faint fear. Hey, stop judging, it's not my fault I can't deal with emotional people! I don't know what to say and since I'm rarely that emotional so I can't really relate to them.

Yes I know, I am a terrible person.

I walked over and awkwardly sat beside her, wondering how someone could find the energy to have two breakdowns in one morning. I mean, one is exhausting enough, but two? Man, this girl ahs skill. "What happened?"

She sniffed loudly and wiped her nose on her jumper. "H-he was k-k-kissing her! A-as if n-nothing had happened! He had the n-nerve to k-kiss her after-" She sneezed and sniffed again before conjuring a tissue and blowing her nose. "-After w-what he d-did to her! I was j-just so angry! I mean s-she's my best friend, he c-can't just do that t-to her!"

Molly stroked her hair and hugged her tighter. "I know, I know, he's a dick." She gave a teary laugh but otherwise didn't reply. "What did you do?"

"I-I stormed over a-and asked if I could s-speak to him in p-private. W-we came h-here and I –I told him about s-seeing him and Natalia-"

"Who?"

"Natalia Gorden, now shut it and let her talk!"

"Sorry."

"Go on."

She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, without much success. "-s-snogging earlier today and he g-got angry! Threatened to m-make every guy hate m-me if I told! I s-said she had a right to know a-and he s-smirked. H-he said she won't believe me a-anyway, said that I-I was butting into t-things that aren't my business."

"He didn't?" She nodded sadly, only fuelling my anger. "NONE OF YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS? SHE IS YOUR BEST FRIENDS! BEST FRIEND! AND HE'S TRYING TO BREAK HER HEART, OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS! HUFFLEPUFFS ARE LOYAL, OF COURSE YOUR GOING TO BE PISSED, THAT FREAKING JERK THINKING THAT-"

Molly reached out a hand and whacked me over the back of the head. Merlin women, that hurts you know! You can't just go around injuring innocent people! It's called manners! She didn't seem to think she's done anything wrong as she just glared at me. "Not helping!"

I smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, continue."

"I got really a-angry and pointed m-my wand at h-him, wasn't really thinking w-what I w-was doing a-and the next thing I k-know the fucking classroom blew up and he left! N-now he's going to t-tell her some b-bullshit story and s-she'll believe him!"

We both knew it was true, he had an advantage. He got to tell his story first and the fact that she blew up a classroom while he was in it doesn't help her side much.

So much for a simple favour.

I reached out and squeezed her hand, giving her my best reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I promised to help you didn't I? We'll figure this out, believe it or not I'm quite good at coming up with plans, you came to me for a reason you know."

"No, not even you could get to forgive me after he speaks to her."

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

* * *

><p>So the simple favour got a little complicated... :) Review?<p> 


	4. The Plan

Sure enough, Maddy and Vicky didn't speak after that, though that wasn't from lack of trying on Vicky's part. Every time she saw Maddy she would desperately try to explain, only to be ignored. It was painful to watch, which is why many people pretended not to notice her obvious pain at the loss of her friend.

Vicky spent most of her time with us, but she didn't talk much, and didn't really join in any of our conversations unless they were about 'the plan' and even then she was quiet. It was frustrating.

I knew I had to come up with a plan soon, which meant it wouldn't be the best plan I've ever thought of considering I don't have much time to plan it. So, for this plan to be effective given the short amount of time I've had to think it up, I have to get involved. Yay.

Also to top my morning off, I accidently let it slip I have a plan and now Vick is blocking the door and won't let me leave the dorm until I tell her it. Can't she see I'm starving? I need to eat, like now. I can't take this any longer, I'm going to starve!

"Okay, okay. Here's the plan. Molly, you're going to get the map and cloak off your cousins, we are going to wait until we see Ryan and Nat-"

"Why are you calling her Nat? She's the reason I lost my best friend!" She all but screamed at me. Merlin, some of us still have eardrums you know.

I rubbed my eyes and cursed her to the end of the earth. As much as I felt sorry for her, and she's a good person and all but she was driving me insane. She kept waking me up in the middle of the night because she was crying and upset. So, being the lovely person that I am, I talk to her until she goes back to sleep. This wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take me so long to get to sleep.

SLEEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!

...I may be a little over tired.

"Nicknames are awesome, okay? If it weren't for nicknames I'd be forever known as Alethia Carya, so I firmly believe in nicknames, that is all. No hidden motives, I'm not secretly plotting behind your back, and I'm exhausted so can you please speak a little quieter before my head explodes, it would be greatly appreciated."

"Oh... sorry 'bout that."

"It's okay, so we wait until we see Ryan and Nat together, then Molly will guard the door to make sure they don't leave. We will then go and find Maddy, blind fold her, and kidnap her."

"Excuse me?"

"Yep, we kidnap her, oh! And silence her, then we take her to the room, un blindfold her and shove her in. We then lock the door and leave them to discuss their issues. Vicky, you will be waiting at the girls dorms for her to come back and comfort her as she cries. Ta da, end of story. Bye, bye. Now I'm hungry, let's get breakfast."

Molly look at me as though I'm insane, which is sadly now becoming a daily occurrence. "Are you sure you thought of this plan? I mean this sounds like something Fred would do, wait... You didn't sneak into Hogsmeade to see Fred did you?"

There are several things wrong with her assumption. 1. I've never snuck out without her, I'm scared of the dark. 2. Whenever me and Fred see each other it is almost guaranteed an argument will start. Don't get me wrong, Fred's cool and all but he finds it stupid how I help people without asking for anything in return. Which he is totally right about, which is why this is going to be the last time it happens. I am going to publically announce it, so no one can ask me or guilt me into helping them.

Hopefully it will work this time.

"No, that would resolve in arguing, me feeling like a spineless idiot, sulking and whatnot. I just can't be bothered thinking of an elaborate plan, that would take time. Now I repeat, I'm hungry, so can you move so we can go to breakfast?"

Molly rolled her eyes and attempted to leave, only to be stopped by an ecstatic looking Vicky. Yeah, that's right, I cheered her up. Ten points to Thea.

"This is s brilliant idea! It's sure to work!"

"There are about a thousand things that could go wrong."

"It's going to be great!"

"Her plan sucks."

"Let's go and find James and get the map, yeah?"

Yeah, good idea. Wait... what? I'm hungry! I need to eat! I'm a growing person you know! Well... actually I stop growing last year, but that's not important. Me missing out on my precious food is important. Don't look at me like I'm fat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

STOP JUDGING ME!

"No, no way. We are getting the map off James after I have eaten!" ...and fixed my hair, because it's really messy at the moment, but more importantly after I have eaten. I am too hungry to function right now. "Now, let's go."

"No, we are going now."

"No."

"Yes!" She reached out, grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room. "the sooner we start the plan the better!" I struggled and protested loudly but she completely ignored me, as did Molly who was trailing behind us.

I hate my life.

She dragged me through the common room, (which was really embarrassing) out the portrait hole, past the kitchens (bitch) up _7 flights of _stairs until we reached the portrait of the fat lady. She then proceeded to scare some first year into giving her the password, run up the stairs and barge into the 6th year boy's dormitories without even knocking. The boy's dormitories that was full of fit guys who were all getting changed and stared at us as we entered.

Awkward much?

I quickly closed my eyes and shouted out apologies, not that they were listening. They were too busy yelling at Vicky, who didn't seem the tiniest bit fazed.

"What the hell? Why are you even here?"

"Just barge in here, we could've been planning a prank!"

"Yeah, then you'd know our secrets!"

"Oh Merlin, will you just shut it?"

"I'm really sorry, she dragged me here!"

"Shut it, can I have the map?"

"No, family members only, sorry."

"I'm right here you git."

"Molly? How long have you been here?"

"COULD'VE BEEN PLANNING A PRANK!"

"Just give us the map."

"Why?"

Wait, was that James? Or Scott? Or Jason? Man, being blind would be terrible.

"Because we need it for one of Thea's stupid plans."

I turned to my right and crossed my arms. "MY PLANS AREN'T STUPID!"

"Um.. Thea? I'm too your left."

...right, I knew that.

I stomped my foot, oh so maturely and screamed in frustration, which of course made them all laugh at me. I hate them all; they can go to hell for all I care. "Look, can you guys hurry up and finish your argument? I am starving!"

"Oh, yeah, right." There was the sound of many objects being thrown around, which was slightly worrying. "Aha! I found it!" He was looking for the map? The map he uses daily? He lost it in a day? You have got to be kidding me, why are all boys disorganised? "Here you go."

I barely had time to thank him before I was being dragged out of the room again. I opened my eyes and glared at Vicky, which only caused her to giggle uncontrollably. That's it, that's the final straw. I am going back in time, finding a dinosaur and forcing it to teach me to be scary. It's the only solution.

"One: What the hell is wrong with you? Two: We are going to breakfast now and that is final."

"But-"

"No, breakfast first, then we can stalk them to your heart's content." Wow, why can't I be this stubborn when I'm not half asleep? This could be a breakthrough! I just have to get no sleep, and then I will never be guilted into helping people when I really can't be bothered.

I turned and stalked out of the common room, leaving the two of them to catch up. "Fine, but I'm checking the map while we walk."

"Fine."

She unfolded it and held it up to her face, completely blocking her vision of where she was going. I grabbed her arm and carefully steered her away from the random first year she nearly walked over. Not that she noticed, she was too busy trying to understand the map. Idiot.

"Aha, I found him! Wait, where is that? So if that's the charms room there, and that's the staircases there, he is on the third floor. Yeah, and he's going towards the DADA room, which- OH MERLIN! She's there! Molly, go! Go!"

"What?"

No, this can't be happening, I haven't eaten yet!

"DADA classroom, guard the door!" Molly groaned but took off in that direction anyway, looking extremely annoyed. "Now, Maddy is in the... Yes! She's leaving breakfast, with Matilda! This is so perfect, let's go!"

"But, but, I'm hungry!"

She shoved the map in her pocket and stared at me with puppy dog eyes. "Please, this may be my only chance to get my best friends back, please!"

"I'm hungry!"

"Please?" My stomach grumbled, and I gave her a pointed look. "I won't shut up until you agree. Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please!"

"OKAY! Okay, Merlin, I'll come!"

She grinned and took off in the direction of the great hall, not even bothering to thank me. I sighed loudly and followed her, cursing under my breath.

AM I EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EAT THIS MORNING?

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><p>Thank you so much for the reviews, it means a lot. Sorry i haven't updated this for a while, but i was working on my new story...<p>

Review? :D


	5. The Embarrassment

I have come to the conclusion that I must be the only Hogwarts student in the whole castle that is unfit. I mean Vicky, Miss-I-can't-go-outside-and-run-cause-I-could-trip-and-ruin-my-clothes, is even able to run down six flights of stairs as fast as possible without collapsing of exhaustion.

I really, really need to start exercising more.

"Can we please, please slow down?" I gasped as she dragged me down yet another flight of stairs. Oh god, exactly how many stairs are there? "Seriously, I really can't breathe right now! I think I may be dying and it's not like she's going to walk that far!"

She stopped suddenly and studied the map intently, a look of fierce determination on her face which is a little over the top if you ask me, we're saving a friendship not going to war. Glad to have finally stopped walking I sighed in relief and leaned heavily against the wall. "Thanks, one more step and I-"

"Damnit! She's moved! She's on the third floor on her way to class!"

She folded the map again and started running back up the stairs again. I stood glued to the spot, did she just say third floor? As in back up the stairs? Is she crazy? We _just_ got to the first floor! She must be insane, what does she think I am, fit?

I repeat, she's insane.

I crossed my arms and stayed where I was, determined to finally stand up to someone and win for the first time in my life. Yep that's right guys, be proud, be proud! Shower me with chocolates and money and love to show me just how much you love and admire me!

…too far?

The point was to be proud of me, not too much to ask right?

Anyway, Vicky actually made it about six metres before she realized she was alone, which is quite sad if you ask me and a little insulting. "Are you coming or what? We have to go now! Molly can't keep them in that cupboard forever!"

"But I'm hungry and tired and sore and hungry and tired and did I mention hungry cause I don't think I did?"

Word of advice people, if your going to stand up to someone don't use stupid excuses and don't speak in a whiny voice because it's neither intimidating or scary. It just makes you sound like a baby and they'll most likely just grab your hand and drag you along again.

That's it, it's settled. I am going to get my hands on a time turner, go back in time and bribe a T-rex into give me lessons on how to be scary.

Grudgingly I followed her as she weaved her way through the people either on their way to classes or breakfast. Well, she thought she was weaving but to me it appeared to be giving them 0.5 seconds to move out her way and if they didn't well.. let's just say I hope they like giving the floor hugs.

Which they should because it wouldn't be a nice life being trampled on all the time.

Anyway my crazy and irrelevant thoughts aside, we had now made it to the third floor and were 'weaving' though the thinning crowd in the corridor searching for Maddy. "Okay Vicky, when we find them you're going to tell Matilda that something's happened to her trunk and take her to the dormitories. That's all you need to do, comprende?"

"Comprende? What the..?"

"Understand? Not that hard to.." I stopped dead as I caught sight of Maddy's mess of black curls a couple of feet away, about to head into the charms classroom. "Just go and don't speak to Maddy, just tell Matilda you wont be long so she wont ask her to come along."

She nodded and ran over while I slowly made my way though the crowd, arriving at he classroom just as Maddy closed the door behind her. I took a moment to catch my breath (Don't judge, I'd like to see you run a marathon without dying of exhaustion) before entering the classroom to find it completely empty except for Maddy.

Good thing she likes to arrive ten minutes early for class then.

I crept up behind her as silently as possible, praying she didn't turn around as I pulled out my wand. "_Silencio, __Petrificus Totalus!" _Feeling incredibly guilty I watched as she fell to the floor, not moving. Okay now the only problem now is how to get her to the DADA classroom without anyone seeing her.

Any ideas?

I really should've thought this through before I told Vicky the plan. Whoops.

Wait.. I could levitate her above everyone's heads so she doesn't bump into anyone and if I cast a Disillusionment Charm on her no one would see her at all. Bingo! And this ladies and gentleman is why I am such a genius!

After checking to make sure no one had entered the classroom while I was thinking, I quickly cast the Disillusionment Charm and levitated her into the air. Now all I had to do was deal with everyone thinking I'm a complete weirdo for pointing my wand at what appears to be nothing.

Eh, everyone already thinks I'm weird, what've I got to lose?

With that heartwarming thought I left the classroom and hurried in the direction of the DADA classroom, trying my hardest to make sure Maddy didn't hit the walls or ceiling which was extremely hard since I could barely see her.

So maybe my plan wasn't so genius after all. Bu hey, it's still better than anything you could come up with now wasn't it?

I'm taking your silence as a yes.

Anyway I managed to only make her bump into the wall twice and the ceiling once by the time I arrived at the DADA classroom which I am incredibly proud of but I highly suggest you never trust me to levitate any of your prized possessions. Ever.

"Oh Merlin there you are! Classes start in like five minutes, they were probably going to leave any second now!"I rolled my eyes at her as I slowly brought Maddy down to the floor and got undid of the Disillusionment Charm and body-bind curse.

Maddy glared at me and continued to silently yell at me to her hearts content (probably a little angry at me for kidnapping her) while I opened the door to reveal a shirtless Ryan snogging Nat against the wall. Well, that was something I never wanted to and hopefully never will see again.

Molly and I awkwardly looked away while two of them quickly tried to make themselves presentable. "Maddy? Shit, it's not what it looks like, I swear!"He reached out, probably with the intention of hugging her but she was already halfway down the corridor before he could reach her, tears running down her face.

…and I still hadn't taken the silencing charm off.

This is why I never attempt anything before breakfast.

I turned on my heel and walked away, intending to steal some food from the kitchens before class so I didn't starve to death before lunch. Unfortunately I didn't even make it three steps before Ryan reached out and grabbed my arm, a look of complete fury on his face.

Yeah, this is why I don't usually help people 'the Fred way' as Molly calls it: it usually ends with someone wanting to kill you, just what Ryan looks like he's planning to do. He let go of my arm and pulled his wand out of his back pocket, his eyes never leaving mine. "You did this."

I exchanged a panicked look with Molly before doing the only logical thing: running away screaming like little girls.

"SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!" I screamed as I roughly shoved people aside while dodging jinxes and hexes. Molly grabbed my hand and pulled me into the closest classroom, which also happened to be full of about 20 sixth years waiting for the professor to arrive.

I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life!

The whole class stared at us in amusement as we slammed the door shut, locked it and hid under the closest desk. Ryan caught up seconds later and banged several times on the door. I decided against reminding him he's a wizard and therefore can unlock the door. "FINE! HIDE IF YOU WANT TO BUT I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" he screamed before I heard his footsteps walking away.

The room was silent for a few moments before the whole class burst into laughter. My jaw dropped, they were _laughing_, they found this _amusing_!

I was ready to kill them.

I quickly crawled out from under the desk and glared at them, which of course just made them laugh more. "THAT'S IT!" My scream was enough to _finally_ get them to shut up again. "I AM DONE! THAT IS THE LAST FAVOUR I DO ANY OF YOU, EVER AGAIN!"

Molly rolled her eyes, "that's what you said yesterday."

"…Good point. Well then, this is the last favour I do any of you without getting something in return! From now on if you want my help, you are going to have to bribe me with either money or chocolate!"

Feeling incredibly proud of myself I stormed out of the classroom and headed for the kitchens with my head held high… until I remember three crucial things.

1. That was the rudest I had ever been to anyone and I was going to have to apologize to all of them later.

2. James Potter was in that room, I mean talk about embarrassing.

3. I was meant to be in that class for first period.

Crap.

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><p>heey! Sorry i haven't updated in ages but i updated Art of not caring yesterday and I've just got to edit chapter two of i hate my best friend (otherwise it'll be too long) then i can start on chapter three, which will probably be up either tomorrow or the day after.<p>

**Don't forget to review!**


	6. The Staring

"This is by far the best idea I've ever had! I mean, I am practically drowning in chocolate! Why did I not think of this before?"

I am not exaggerating in the least. Since last week when I announced my decision (I did apologize to everyone for yelling upon my return to the classroom in case you were wondering) I have been given so much chocolate for helping people that I've had to give some away!

Okay, well that's a lie, I would never give chocolate away when I could just eat it all the time.

Which is what I am doing now.

Molly didn't seem to agree with me. "Yeah, yeah, it was genius and all but you can't sit here and eat your chocolate at breakfast!"

I snorted, oh so attractively and rolled my eyes, "and why is that?"

"Because people are watching you and they look like they're willing to attack you and claw out your eyes and torture you until you reveal the whereabouts of your precious stash of chocolate and then they'll keep you locked up forever so there's no chance of you stealing it back and you'll die in that cage!"

"Are you on drugs?"

She took a couple of deep breaths while glancing around nervously, "No, but everyone is staring at us and you know how that makes me uncomfortable."

…True, ever since she got ambushed b reporters while going shopping with her Uncle she has a strange fear of too many people paying attention to her at once. I guess it didn't help that a lot of them did look like they were willing to hold us at wand point if it meant getting the chocolate.

After glancing around one more time at the people watching us intently I wrapped up the chocolate and shoved it in my bag, trying my best not to laugh at how their eyes followed my movements. These people are in serious need of some good honeydukes chocolate.

I mean, they look like they haven't eaten any chocolate in weeks!

They're still staring.

Molly looks like she's going to pass out.

I need something to distract them or we could run. Second option sounds easier.

With that in mind I grabbed Molly's now shaking hand and jumped up from the bench, knocking over several plates of food in the process. And if you ask me, running out of the great hall screaming 'YOU SHALL NEVER GET THE CHOCOLATE!' at the top of your lungs is a very dignified and ordinary way to leave the great hall on a Saturday morning.

Your opinion is irrelevant.

So is Molly's in case you were wondering.

"Are you crazy!" She practically screamed at me as we ran through the corridors, receiving even more weird looks the louder she yelled. "The whole school's going to think you're insane and then they're not going to come to us for help and then we won't get chocolate! You've got to be kidding me!"

"You were about to have a panic attack!"

"Was not!"

I glared at her, wishing for the hundredth time she wasn't so annoyingly stubborn. "You were, end of. Now I'm still hungry, kitchens?" She froze and stared at me in complete and utter astonishment, as if she couldn't believe I'd say that. Okay, I am clearly missing something here. "Or not..?"

"You do remember what we're doing today, right?"

No. "Yeah, 'course I do. But can't we just get something from the kitchens first? I'm hungry!"

She rolled her eyes at me and kept walking, apparently believing my lie. Ha! My lying skills are improving! Score one for Thea! Be proud! "No we can't, suck it up and each your bloody chocolate." Ouch. "Fred said we had to be at the store by 12 and it's already 11:50 so we're going to be late."

Oh right, Fred sent us an owl yesterday telling us he needed our help, now I remember.

Most important lesson in life: When you forget something important always pretend you remember until they mention what it is you forgot.

It's practically fool proof.

"Fine, but you're not getting any. If it wasn't for you I'd have been able to eat in the great hall, but no! Someone had to get freaked out by the constant, creepy staring and the people wanting to kill us for our food. You scare so easily."

"At least I'm not scared of bloody birds."

"Hey! I resent that! Birds have claws and beaks and can easily tear me to bits, people staring on the other hand can't hurt you!"

"It hurts when they decide to attack, humans are a lot higher on 'the world's most dangerous creatures' than birds, and I'm only scared of a whole lot of them, if they look creepy."

"I'm pretty sure an eagle has maimed or killed more people than the bloody paparazzi!"

"I beg to differ, I think Rita Skeeta's killed a few."

I shrugged, she had a point there. "Can't argue with that, but can we get something from honeydukes on the way? I only brought one chocolate.."

She nodded as she pulled out her wand and tapped the really creepy looking statue of the one eyes witch. I mean, why on earth would anyone want a statue of that? It's just plain weird. And the corridors too dark.

Oh no, I'm starting to sound like Molly!

Think positive thoughts, think about chocolate and rainbows and everything good in the world.

"What on earth are you doing, Thea?"

I was talking to myself, wasn't I?

I looked up to see Fred standing in the entrance of the tunnel, arms crossed and looking extremely unimpressed. "Hey Freddie! How's it going?" He rolled his eyes and shoved past me, walking rather quickly towards the dungeons. Well, okay then. "Uh, didn't you tell us to meet you at the shop?"

He waved impatiently for us to follow him and quickened his pace, "Yeah but you were taking too long and I miss Hogwarts food so I came here."

Molly started jogging to catch up to him, something I had given up on long ago. Trailing behind was easier. "Where are we going? And can ou please slow down."

"Kitchens, and no."

She stopped abruptly and crossed her arms. "Tell us what you need us to do or we wont help you."

"I'll tell you when we get there."

"No, tell us now."

"It's a long story."

"Give us a summary."

Fred groaned and rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Fine!" I grinned smugly at Molly, who looked extremely pleased with herself. "I need you guys to stalk James and Jason to find out if Jason is the one telling Witch Weekly all the family secrets and drama."

..What?!

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><p>Finally, the title makes sense..ish. So yeah, thank you so much for the reviews, it means a lot! I hope you like this chapter and pleaseee review!<p> 


	7. The Deal

"Excuse me?!"

Fred winked at me and continued on his way down the corridor, leaving Molly and I standing there in shock. He had to be joking right, there is no way he could possibly be serious. "Keep up you two, we don't have all day!" We didn't move.

"Um, Fred? Care to explain why you think we need to stalk your cousin?"

Fred laughed as he disappeared round a corner, which was enough to snap Molly out of shock and drag me along after him. He ignored our pleads for him to slow down, instead speeding up. I have a feeling he did this just to annoy us. "Nope, I said I'd give a summary, I never said I'd explain said summary now did I? Now hurry up, I'm starving!"

"Fred! Please slow down!"

"FRED WEASLEY IF YOU DON'T SLOW DOWN RIGHT NOW I'LL-"

"Oh be quiet Molly." He laughed once again and ninja rolled into another corridor, which I think was meant to make him look cool but he just looked like an odd overgrown child. I turned the corner just in time to see him disappear into the kitchens, smirking the whole time.. I grabbed Molly by the wrist and ran after him only to find him in the centre of a massive group hug with all the house elves. "Um, Fred?"

"Just a minute," he called as he high fived a particularly teary eyed elf, "hey! Mitzi, it's been too long!"

Okay, am I missing something here? Isn't this the part where he's meant to be explaining why the hell he thinks we're going to stalk his cousin for him? I mean seriously, I am no stalker! Stalking requires stealth, and I am clumsy and awkward and I couldn't even do this if I tried. He knows this right? He's not going to make me try to stalk James and get caught and then James will think I'm crazy! Oh god, if he finds out I'm crazy then my whole life plan will be ruined.

I'm just going to have to say no.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA, I'm screwed.

"Fred, explain right now or I swear to god-"

Fred cut us off with a delighted squeal as one of the elves offered him a plate of tarts and cakes, which Fred then proceeded to shove as many into his mouth as possible. Sometimes it's hard to believe that this child is turning nineteen next month. It's even scarier to think he's going to inherit a whole business.

Yeah, I try not to think about that.

I turned to Molly, who in the last thirty seconds had explained in great detail all of the ways she would kill him if he didn't put the food down and explain 'this instant.' "Then I'll throw you off the astronomy tower which in case you haven't noticed is extremely-"

"Molly, I don't think threatening him is working right now."

She paused and regarded Fred thoughtfully, as if she was expecting a sign to tell her how to get him to listen. Eh, one can hope right? It wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. Unfortunately no such sign appeared so Molly decided to become an insane freak.

Not exaggerating here; she ran up, jumped on Fred's back and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Oh, what a shame, my hearing has gone, turns out I can't help after all.

"GET OFF ME, YOU CREEP!"

"EXPLAIN YOUR CRAZY PLAN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP OUT ALL YOUR HAIR STRAND BY STRAND!"

"NOT MY HAIR, PLEASE!"

"EXPLAIN!"

"Okay, okay! Merlin, just get off me!"

As Molly jumped off Fred's back and collapsed onto one of the benches I looked around in search of an elf to get us some food, only to find they had all left. Probably ran in fear from the crazy lady. I shrugged and grabbed a cake from the tray that now sat on the table in front of Fred and sat opposite him.

Aaannnd no one spoke.

Brilliant.

"So, this is fun."

Fred rolled his eyes at me before he grabbed _another_ cake –how many of those has he eaten already?- and while eating it, rummaged around in the backpack I hadn't realized he had brought with him. "Okay so, as I said before I need you to follow James and Jason. Now I assume your both familiar with what Rita Skeeter's been writing in which weekly recently, yeah?"

"Erm, what?"

"Oh, right, stupid question, forgot you two were the only two girls in all of Hogwarts who don't read girl magazines and gossip and such- have I ever mentioned how weird that it? I mean are you sure you two haven't been hit on the head as children cause I've heard that can cause pr-"

"Yes, we're sure. Now hurry up!"

He smirked as he pulled out several copies of Witch weekly, which he then proceeded to dump in front of us. "Now, in each of these issues there is a story about our family. You know the whole, 'Dominique Weasley caught sneaking out by Bill-Is the goody-two shoes trying to live up to her sisters reputation?' and 'Hugo Weasley receives detention after being caught snogging a someone in a broom closet.'"

"So? She's always published crap like that!"

"Yeah and it's always been a load of crap and we can always proof it was wrong and move on. Why do you suddenly care now?"

Fred sighed and rubbed his eyes, suddenly looking older and more mature, something I was sure I would never live to see. "The problem is that we cant just rove these stories wrong because they're true! Someone who's closely connected to the family but not a part of it is telling-"

Molly shook her head violently and glared at the magazines as if they were contaminated."Wait, wait, wait, Dom snuck out? That's insane! These can't be true."

"It is, she wanted to wait outside some book store three hours away because they were getting some book she wanted earlier than here but Fleur wouldn't take her so she bribed Teddy and Victorie to take her."

"So that means Hugo snogged someone in a broom closet?"

"Yeah, last week actual- That's not the point! The point is that someone's telling all this to that stupid magazine and we really need to stop them before Aunt Hermione snaps and kills her."

"That wouldn't be such a bad thing, I don't even see why we need to help." I sighed in relief at Molly's response, if she says no to Fred then I won't have to and my life plans won't be ruined. This is a good, good day.

"It's only a matter of time before she writes something about you, if we're right about it being Jason – which we're pretty sure we are, we've ruled out everyone else- then he can find out everything James knows and I'm pretty sure James knows some pretty embarrassing stories about you, Molly."

"Okay we're helping."

Fred grineed.

Molly sighed.

This cannot be happening.

"What?! No we can't, we don't know the first thing about stalking! He'll see us!"

"We don't have to stalk him all the time, most of the time we can just hang out with them and observe."

Fred was positively beaming by now. "Right, and I stole dad's invisibility cloak, it's not as good as James' one but it'll keep you hidden well enough so there's nothing to worry about."

"I don't do favours for free anymore."

"I'll give you money."

"I have to focus on work, I don't have time for this!"

"You never work, now you're just making up excuses."

"I broke my leg."

"Bullshit. Face it Thea, your helping whether you like it or not."

I looked desperately at Molly, silently begging her to change her mind, to get me out of this. She bit her lip and avoided my eyes, mumbling somethi9ng about how I owed her for all the times she helped me with these plans. Damn it. "Okay fine, but I get everything from WWW for free from now on."

"What? No! you're out best customer, ALL your plans need our merchandise! 25% off."

"60!"

"40!"

"50 and you've got yourself a deal."

Fred nodded and held out his hand for me to shake, looking triumphant. I glanced once more at Molly before sighing and shaking his hand.

Worst mistake of my life.

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><p>So yeah, there you go! Sorry it took me so long to update but i dont have a computer at the moment so i have to borrow my sisters to write and i cant borrow it very often.<p>

so, review?


	8. The Breakfast

I can do this. All I have to do is sit there, during breakfast, make casual conversation with James and his friends without being a complete and utter weirdo, embarrassing myself or eating too much. Simple, easy. I've got this.

I so haven't got this.

"Molly please! I don't have time to do my hair and I'm really hungry so I'm probably going to end up eating half of the food on the table! Can't we do this another day? Please?" Never mind the fact that I've said this for the last week. STOP JUDGING ME! I'd just rather not embarrass myself any more than I already have. (I've avoided him since the embarrassing moment I yelled and stormed out of the class he was in)

Molly sighed and shot me an unimpressed look, "We promised Fred _a week ago _that we would try and find out if it was Jason and we haven't made any move to fulfil that promise! If it is him he could decide to tell that stupid reporter bitch something about me any day now! So no, no more stalling, get off your big fat but and let's go, yeah?"

No. No way, not happening. I am never leaving this bed. I shall die here. Or ill just lay here until I get hungry. Either way there is no way I'm going to sit with James freaking Potter during breakfast. I have successfully avoided him for most of my life and I'm not going to stop now. "I'm not leaving this bed."

Molly snorted oh so attractively and shoved me off the bed. "Too late."

The ground is cold! Molly is a bitch. "You're a bitch."

She snorted, again. Maybe this is why she's never had a boyfriend? Well either that or her habit of being a bit on the loud and weird side. Eh. "Tell me something I don't know, now get up!"

"No."

"We're going whether you like it or not."

"You're going whether I like it or not, I'm not." I know I'm so witty. Be jealous. "Besides, it's a Saturday, no sane person is up before 10 on a Saturday! Let's just go back to sleep and have lunch with him instead?"

"He has quidditch practice until 5-" I know, spending 7 hours straight playing _sport _crazy. "And I'm not eating dinner with him because goes straight from practice to dinner and he smells like sweat and it's gross." I sat up and opened my mouth with the full intention of convincing her to go back to sleep when she cut me off. Why am I friends with her? "And no we can't 'do this tomorrow' because if I agree to that then we'll never end up doing it."

"But-"

She screamed in frustration and stomped her foot, causing our still sleeping dorm mates –lucky bitches- to stir. "You have three seconds to get up and get dressed or I'm levitating you to breakfast and you can sit there in front of the whole school –including James- wearing your stupid zoo pyjamas!"

I glanced down and saw that I was in fact wearing pyjama pants with zoo animals on them along with one of Molly's jumpers. Whoops. "My mum paid good money for these so why shouldn't I wear them?"

"She paid good money for your jumpers too but you still always insist on stealing mine!"

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly kept my eyes on my fluffy black slippers. "Yeah well yours are warmer and more comfy. Anyway more to the point can't you just force me to tomorrow?"

She crossed her arms stubbornly and shook her head. Damn it. "No, I'm already up and there's no way I'm getting up at eight bloody thirty-"

"Language."

"-shut it!" rude. "I'm not getting up at 8:30 on a Saturday for no reason. If we go now at least I'll get something out of it, so get up or I'll levitate you there, don't think I won't!" She won't, she's my best friend there's no way she'd put me through that embarrassment. Right? "You have three seconds!"

"Are you actually kidding me right now?"

"1!"

"You sound like a teacher."

"2!"

"This is pathetic."

"Don't make me say 3!"

"You just did, idiot."

"That's it, _wingardium leviosa!"_

I yelped loudly as I was suddenly lifted from the floor, and scrambled to keep hold of my blanket. "Are you crazy?! Put me down _now!_" She ignored me and started walking out of our dormitories and into the common room, where there were people. Oh no. "Okay, okay, I'll get changed! I'll come to breakfast just put me down!"

She smirked at me, looking extremely amused and pleased with herself. I'm going to kill her. "No."

"Molly! Please put me down, I promise I'll get dressed! I won't back out I promise just put me down!"

She rolled her eyes and carefully levitated me through the portrait hole (if I wasn't so angry at her I would be grateful that she went to so much effort to make sure I didn't hit my head) and dungeons. Which I would find endlessly creepy if we weren't so close to the kitchens.

Benefits of being in Hufflepuff.

"Do you think I'm stupid or something?" She paused, "wait, actually don't answer that. Anyway, if I put you down what's going to stop you from attacking me and running away the minute I put you down?"

Damn it, she knows me too well. "Nothing. But what's going to stop me from doing that once you put me down when we get to breakfast? Wait, you are going to put my down when we get there, right?"

She snorted (she really needs to stop doing that) and jogged up the stairs to the 1st floor. "Because if you do that James will think you're even weirder than he already does and then he'll avoid you forever and never speak to you and raise his kids to hate you."

"…You're evil."

"I know. Now we're almost at the great hall, you ready?"

"No! Please don't make me do this!"

"Time for breakfast in 3, 2 1 now!" She kicked the doors open dramatically, causing everyone in the great hall to turn and stare at us. And by everyone I mean _everyone _including Headmistress McGonagall. And I'm still suspended 3 metres above the ground in my pyjamas clutching my blanket.

Okay, well this isn't embarrassing or anything.

Thank god there weren't many people willing to be awake at 8:30 in the morning. Besides the Gryffindor Quidditch (who were all trying their best not to laugh) team there were only two or three people sitting at each table and there were only about three teachers up as well.

But still, way too many people.

McGonagall sighed tiredly, "Ms Weasley if you could please let Ms Cooper down it would be greatly appreciated."

Molly smiled innocently and nodded happily, "Of course!" This can't be good, nothing good ever happens when Molly fakes innocence. She waved her wand and smirked as I crashed to the ground with a muffled groan. "There you go, safely on the ground!"

"I will end you."

She rolled her eyes, seemingly completely unfazed by my threat. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll kill me in my sleep and bury me in the forbidden forest, I've heard this all before. Now hurry up I'm hungry!" She glanced over at the Gryffindor table and gasped in 'surprise'. "James? I didn't know you'd be here! Huh, guess I didn't need you to keep me company after all, Thea."

I glared at her for a moment before I saw a little beacon of hope in her 'brilliant' cover up story. "Well, if you already have company for breakfast then I guess I can go back to bed then?" I wrapped the blanket more securely around my shoulders and turned to leave, "Bye!"

I paused when the guy sitting across from James called out and watched me thoughtfully. I bit my lip as he stared and messed up his blonde hair. "Hey, aren't you the girl who hid in our classroom and then went crazy and left?"

I laughed a little uncomfortably and shook my head frantically, "Nope, I have no idea what you're talking about, that was definitely not me."

"Yeah I think that's her! I remember, she came back a few minutes later and apologised. It was funny!"

"Well I'm glad I amused you, now if you don't mind I have very important things to do and I really can't-"

James laughed and raised an eyebrow, "you mean sleep? You'd rather sleep then have breakfast with us?"

I snorted (oh no, Molly's rubbing off on me!), "James, don't take it personally, I'd rather sleep than have breakfast with anyone right now. It's way too early to be alive, so yet again, if you don't mind I best be off, see ya!"

Random-guy-who-recognised-me-before or otherwise known as Blondie (hey I never said my nicknames were creative you know) patted the seat next to him, "You're weird, I like you."

"Thanks?"

"Come and sit, this lot are being boring." Before I could reply Molly grinned and dragged me to the table, shoving me into the seat next to him and squeezing in beside me. It was a little uncomfortable, Molly's elbow was digging into my stomach. Blondie didn't seem to mind. "So Molly, why are you up so early?"

She looked up from where she was stacking about 50 pancakes onto her plate at once, (okay so maybe it was more like 5) and grinned, "dunno, woke up early and was absolutely starving, so I decided to convince Thea to come to breakfast with me."

Excuse me? "_Convince?_ Does convincing people to hang out with you usually involve forcing them from their beds and giving them no choice but to spend time with you? Cause if it does then you're life is really sad."

Blondie laughed and put an arm around my shoulders. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Wow, you're a ray of sunshine this morning."

I shoved his arm off me and glared at him, "I will end you, Blondie."

And of course he didn't even seemed slightly worried about my threat. WHEN WILL I EVER BECOME THREATENING?! Seriously this is just cruel. "It's Louis. And cheer up, you're cuter when you smile."

James rolled his eyes and smiled reassuringly at me, "don't worry about my stupid cousin over here, he flirts with everyone, it's just who he is. He doesn't mean anything by it he's too busy pining after some girl he's too shy to even talk to."

I blushed cause you know, it's James and he was smiling at me and just shut up and let me be a pathetic teenager, okay? Then I grinned excitedly and bounced a little in my seat, "Aww, Blondie that's so cute! Who is she? Do I know her? Is she nice? Telll meee!"

Hey, I may not be into stupid gossip magazines or gossip in general for that matter but I am female and I love a cute story. Sue me.

He blushed and played with his food, avoiding me eyes, "doesn't matter, we're too different she wouldn't like me."

I scoffed and waved my hand impatiently, "You play Quidditch, you're a Weasley, and you're quite adorable when you're not flirting, she'll love you, now spill." It was true actually, he looked a little younger than me, maybe a fifth year, and he had messy blond hair and bright blue eyes. He also had dimples, like James.

But don't get me started on James, or we'll be here all day.

"Erm, you know Matilda? Sixth year, Hufflepuff, quiet, likes reading a lot?"

I smiled, Tilly was a bit of a loner, sweet but incredibly shy and liked to keep to herself most the time. I'd helped her a while back when she was worried about her little sister not fitting in when she started here. She shared our dormitories and Molly and I are some of the few people she speaks to.

This is too adorable. "_Tilly?_ Oh my god, this is so cute! You two would be adorable! I mean it would take some time cause she's awfully shy and I know what you mean about you two being different but she's not going to reject you cause you're louder and more social than her. You just have to patient and don't rush her! Oh my god I am so helping you!"

Blondie just blushed, "I don't have any chocolate to give you.."

"Don't worry about it."

He smiled at me happily and gave me a hug, thanking me over and over again. Scott on the other hand didn't seem so pleased. "Hey! You made me pay you three blocks of chocolate to help prove that it wasn't me who put Goyle in the hospital wing! This isn't fair!"

Ha, I remember that. Scott's about as violent as a kitten but the fact that he's built like a bear and hits bludgers at people makes everyone assume he's a short tempered asshole. Quite sad really.

I shrugged and started piling my plate full of waffles, "I'm not doing this for Blondie-"

"For the last time, it's _Louis!"_

"-fine, I'm not doing it for Lou I'm doing it for Tilly. She deserves someone to make an effort for her. I thought you'd agree, was she not the one who helped me prove it was actually Scorpious who stunned him?"

Louis chocked on his toast, "_Scorpious?!"_

I nodded distractedly, reaching over him to grab the maple syrup, "Yeah Goyle was giving him the usual crap about him being a bloodtraitor for being friends with Al and Rose and I think he made some comment about Rose being a slut and he lost it. You know how he feels about her, not that he'll ever admit it."

He nodded and went back to his food while Scott looked thoughtful, "Yeah I never did make it up to her for that.. I'll help too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean James has got the map and Jason can get just about anyone to do him a favour."

"How's that going to help?"

He rolled his eyes and grinned, "I know your plans Thea, they always involve some kind of sneaking around and trickery. Plus, Jason owes me for getting the dye out of his hair so he'll help-"

"Do I have to?!"

"-and if James doesn't help he'll be a loner so he'll help too-"

"I _do_ have other friends you twat"

"-so it should be fun."

Molly looked thoughtful for a second before she grinned, "Well I guess we'll all be hanging out more often then, won't we." Obviously thinking about Fred's task and her selfish desire to not have her embarrassing stories on the front page of every magazine.

"I guess so." Right Molly, Blondie, James, Jason, Scott and I. That should be fun.

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><p>Wow, that was a long chapter. 2500 words :O Anyway, so what do you think of the new(ish) characters? :) and Thea's latest favour? :)<p>

Please leave a review and let me know :)


	9. The Anger

Bad news arrived the next morning.

I was just finishing up the pancakes I had chosen for breakfast when a large bag of honeydukes chocolate landed on my lap. Now usually this would have been good news, like make your whole day good news, and I thought so too, until I looked up to see a very pissed off Scorpius. Crap.

Scorpius was one of the nicest people I knew, really he was basically a puppy, so something really bad must have happened to make him angry. Why can't I have just one normal day, just one? Please?

"Hey Scorp, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

He took a deep breath and collapsed into the seat across from me. "I need your help."

I shrugged and regretfully shoved the bag of chocolate back towards him, "Can't, sorry. I'm already helping two people, don't have enough time think of three amazing, ground breaking schemes and pull them all off at once. I might have time next week though." I gave him a quick smile and stood to leave.

"No!" He jumped up and grabbed my wrist, yanking my back to my seat. "Just like, hear me out, okay? You'll want to help, I swear!"

I sighed and reached for the bag of chocolate, "Okay, what did you get me? There better be at least three blocks of chocolate in here, Malfoy!"

He sighed and run a hand through his hair, "I don't think there's much, I just grabbed what's left of mine and Al's collection, I didn't have time after everything happened to sneak into Hogsmeade, I like really need your help, please?"

"What do you need me to do?"

His eyes flashed dangerously and for a second there I saw a glimpse of the person everyone made him out to be, a glimpse of how everyone expected him to turn out, being the son of an ex-death eater and all. It scared me for a second. "I want you to help me make Goyle regret he was ever born."

Molly choked on her toast, I stared at him in shock, I expected him to suddenly yell April fools and run off (even though it's not even April) cause who in the right mind would come to me for help when he clearly wanted someone to help put Goyle in the hospital wing (again). I waited a couple of seconds, he still looked serious. "Excuse me?"

He looked completely unfazed by our shock, "You heard me."

I shifted uncomfortably. I had no problem with helping people get revenge by pulling pranks like turning someone's hair purple or embarrassing them in front of the whole school, but actually 'making someone with they had never been born' was not something I was comfortable doing. "I'm sorry but why would you come to me for help? Why not just go find him and duel him again, you kicked his as last time, it's not like you're at risk of losing here… What did he do anyway?"

"Oh right, I forgot the most important part, I need to make Goyle regret he was ever born without anyone knowing, well I mean like not being able to prove that I had anything to do with it, okay?" Oh, well that clears everything up. "And he put Albus in the fucking hospital wing!"

I gasped, Molly punched the table, Lucy glared at Scorp and muttered something like 'language, there are kids around!' Good to know she cares so much about her cousin. "What? How? Isn't he like being punished already?"

His eyes did that scary thing again and glared in the direction of the Slytherin table, "No! Cause apparently they can't prove it's him! But I know it was cause yesterday after dinner we got into a fight and he said he was going to make me regret it!"

"He's angry at you so he went after Al? That doesn't make sense..."

He looked up at me and I was surprised to see that his expression was full of guilt, he looked on the verge of breaking down. Or punching something. I don't know which one I dreaded more. "See he didn't mean to hurt _Al. _ He messed with my trunk, put some spell on it so it exploded as soon as you opened it. It was only meant to mess with me or something, but Al was looking for his book that I borrowed and he was blown backwards and hit his head. There was so much blood and I didn't know what to do and it was all my fault, Thea, he didn't do anything!" He took a deep breath and played the napkin on the table, refusing to look me in the eye. "He's in the hospital wing right now because Goyle hates my guts, and I can't do anything about that. I can, however, stop Goyle from doing something like this again. So will you please help me?"

I took a deep breath, "How long ago do this happen?"

"About an hour ago? Maybe an hour and a half? I don't know."

Molly, who was taking deep breaths and clutching the table so hard her knuckles had turned white to try and contain her anger, glanced over at the Gryffindor table, as if she was looking for someone, "And why hasn't James put him in the hospital wing yet? Permanently if possible." Now that i think about it, it was weird that James hadn't done anything, everyone knew that James is fiercely protective of his family, especially his younger siblings.

"We tried! As soon as I told James we went and corned him on his way to breakfast, I think he was expecting it because he knew I'd be angry after it exploded. He anonymously left a tip for McGonagall that someone might try and attack him and we were caught before we could do any lasting damage. She warned us that if she caught us trying to attack him again we'd get a months' worth of detentions and if James gets any more he could be expelled so we can help you but there can't be any way that this can be traced back to us."

Molly groaned, "So no one can suspect any of us had anything to do with this?" I could see why she was so upset, most of my pans made it pretty obvious that someone had planned it, I'd never planned anything that had to look like a complete accident.

"Correct."

I sighed, "I'm going to need a lot of help with this."

Molly looked thoughtful, "If theres a lot of people involved we can make it hard to pin the blame on one person… I'm sure all the family will help, and Louis owes you a favour for agreeing to help him for free… we can pull this off."

I smiled, a plan already forming in my head, "Yeah, each person can all do something small, which can be seen as an accident or something, so if they do get caught it's not for something big, but then with all the little things will pile up and drive him insane. Good. Where's James now? I'm going to need the map, and the cloak."

He jumped up and leaned over the table to hug me, "Thank you so, so much! Um, last I heard Rose was trying to calm him down, I'll go fill him in."

I pulled back and nodded, "Okay, and find everyone you know who will be willing to help, get them to meet in the kitchens in an hour, me and Molly will do the same."

He ran out the room as quick as possible and I went to do the same when a owl dropped a rather heavy package on my head. Cursing angrily under my breath, I picked it up off the ground and opened it to reveal… a magazine? I gave Molly a confused look before flipping it over to glance at the cover, to find a picture of Fred casually walking through the corridors. Of Hogwarts. With me and Molly trailing behind. It had been taken after fred explained his plan, when we were walking with him back to the passageway.

There was some comment about how Fred was a bad Role model, teaching his cousins to sneak in and out of Hogwarts! (see full article on page 2 for more details) I gulped, this was bad. This meant that whoever was sending this stuff to Rita was spying on us! This was not good.

There was a short letter taped to the front of the magazine, written in Fred's messy writing:

_Found anything out yet? _

_I think you should try and look through his stuff, see if you can find any letter's to or from Rita? I'm not giving you this discount for nothing. Send me a letter as soon as you have. _

_-Fred. _

"Well, looks like we're searching Jason's dorm tonight."

"Yay."

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><p>I am so, so, sorry for not updating for so long! It's just that I've been really busy with school and i've been working almost everyday too so i haven't had the time! But yeah, what do you think? More drama! :)<p>

Please Review and let me know :)


	10. The Disappearing

I grabbed my bag of chocolate and we headed back to the Hufflepuff common room, where I was sure I would find Maddy and Vicky. I wasn't sure if Maddy had forgiven me for the whole, kidnapping and silencing thing yet, but I knew Vicky would help me, she does kind of owe me.

"This is going to be a long day."

Molly rolled her eyes, "stop complaining, that's my thing. And you're the one who decided that helping three people at once would be a good idea! How do you plan of pulling this off again?"

"Well, I guess we could ask Tilly to help with the Albus plan so then there's an excuse to get her around Blondie, but we'll need to supervise them to make sure he doesn't mess this up. And I'm assuming Jason will be helping with the Albus plan so we can watch him pretty easily. Everything is going to work."

So really it was pretty simple, but that doesn't mean it was going to be easy. Nothing involving Molly's family was ever easy. But I can pull this off, you just watch me.

Molly didn't seem to agree with me. "That sounds too simple. Something is going to go wrong. Multiple things are going to go wrong. This isn't going to work, is it?"

"Sure it is, how many times have you thought one of my genius plans wasn't going to work? And you're always wrong. And the plan is simple, because it has to be. The more complex it is, the harder it will be to pull all of them off."

She didn't seem convinced. Is it too much to ask just for a best friend who believes in me? I mean this is getting ridiculous. "And how many times have you just managed to avoid getting caught? How many times have we come so close to watching the whole thing fall apart? And that was when we only had one plan!"

I rolled my eyes, "You're exaggerating, they always work out perfectly fine."

"What about when we helped Victoria with the whole Maddy thing and then Ryan almost killed us. You remember how long we had to avoid him before he eventually gave up!" Oh yeah, he followed us for weeks, trying to get his revenge before James threatened to put him in the hospital wing.

I hate it when she's right. "…Well everything worked out fine in the end. And this is different, it's not like I could say no to Scorp, this is Al we're talking about! He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Yeah, Goyle's going to regret this. No one messes with our family and lives to tell the tale."

I was about to tell her, for the hundredth time, how seriously over-protective her family was when I heard someone calling our names. "MOLLY, THEA! FINALLY! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Wait, was that Maddy? Wasn't she still angry at me?

I turned around, and sure enough she was running towards me as fast as she could, looking absolutely terrified. Can this day get any weirder? "Wow, Maddy slow down!"

She finally caught up to us and started dragging us into one of the smaller, less crowded corridors. "You guys have to disappear."

"Excuse me?"

She rolled her eyes, as if I was being the weird one at the moment. Ha, bet you never thought you'd see the day where _I _was the normal one! "Disappear, be hidden, don't be seen, you know what I mean. Now go." She gave us an awkward smile and started hurrying back the way she had come.

Is she insane?

I turned to Molly, "She's gone insane, right?"

"Completely crazy."

"Psycho."

She shrugged and grabbed my running after her, "Right, well let's go see what she's on about, shall we?"

"Sounds like a good idea."

We caught up with her pretty quickly, while she was on the way to the kitchens. She was walking quickly, always looking over her shoulder, like she was being followed. There is something severely wrong with this girl. "Er… Maddy?"

She spun around and glared at us, "What part of disappear don't you understand?!" She glanced around frantically, "It's like dealing with children! Are you stupid? He could find you here! Are you asking to be killed?"

"Who?"

"Killed?"

"What are you going on about?"

"I don't want to die!"

"Shut up Molly."

She rolled her eyes, "Ryan! Who else hates you?" I could name a few people. I do pull pranks on people for as a job. "He said he needed to talk to me, and started going on about how it was a mistake and how he loved me and wanted me back and I told him to go fuck himself."

"Good choice."

She smiled, "I thought so. Anyway, he got really angry and we were arguing and then he started going on about how this was all your fault since you're the one who told me- thanks for that by the way, do you think you could have done it a little more delicately? It seemed more like something Fred would do."

"That's what I said!"

"Shut up Molly."

"And you really need to work on your levitating skills, I mean, my head _still _hurts from when you hit me in the head! And don't get me started on the whole silencing thing! How on earth could you forget to undo a silencing charm on someone?"

"Told you your plans don't always work!"

Is she ever going to stop with that? It was _one _plan that didn't go exactly perfect. It still worked! "I hadn't had breakfast yet! Let it go! I'm sorry!"

"Oh, I know. Anyway, he got really angry and he was going to make you regret it even if 'that tosser potter' put him in the hospital wing, said something about being able to take him in a duel."

Right, and I could take on a T-rex in a fight. Idiot.

"Brilliant, just what we need at the moment, more stress."

Molly really is a ray of sunshine, isn't she? "We'll be fine. We were actually on our way to find You, Vicky and Tilly for a meeting we're having so we'll just find those too and hide in the kitchen all day." Good thing it's a Sunday. "Meet you in the kitchens. Yeah?"

"No! They're in the great hall and he could be there by now! I'll go get them and meet you there. Whatever you do, don't leave the kitchens."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, disappear, be hidden, don't be seen, we get it. See you there, and make sure Tilly comes!"

"Why?"

Why are people always so curious about everything? "Just because."

"Fine, have your secrets. Just don't be seen!"

She ran off, again, and left Molly and I to finally make our way to the meeting. A meeting with all of Molly's family anf their friends, in one room. Where I was planning to put all three of my plans into action. Oh, and James Potter was going to be there.

Well, this should be fun.

Help me.

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><p>This is my third update in less than two weeks! haha but this is just a short chapter, the next chapter will be more interesting, i promise! And i know most of you probably want me to update Art of not caring instead, that's next, i promise!<p>

So, review? :)


	11. The Meeting

I have the worst luck in the world.

I mean all I needed to do was walk down three levels to the kitchens safely without running into anyone that wanted to kill me. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. I know what you're thinking, and no Ryan did not catch up with us, it was worse. Way, way worse.

We ran into James and Rose on the way and they decided to walk with us there. Did I mention James looks really attractive when he's rambling about killing someone?

I know I'm pathetic, no need to tell me.

But seriously, I'm a little worried about it now. I don't know if he's going to be able pull off these 'little pranks'. I don't think he can resist the temptation to strangle him next time he sees Goyle. Just take what he's going on about now as proof of this: "…Then I'm going to cut out his eye balls and through them off a cliff so he can't get them back and magically re attach them and then I'm going to grate his face off with a cheese grater and then-"

Rose hesitantly patted him on the shoulder, looking quite terrified he was going to grate her face off. "James, deep breaths, yeah?" She spoke in a soothing tone, which did little to lessen his anger. He did shut up though which is always a plus. I don't really feel like listening to his murder plans, funnily enough.

I thought Rose had said she calmed him down? If this is his calm then that is definitely going to make our life together a little difficult. We'll manage though, I'm sure.

We were silent for a while before James turned to me, looking more defeated and exhausted than angry. It was a little heartbreaking, I almost preferred the anger and death threats. Almost. "Please tell me you have a plan."

I shifted nervously, while the plan was the best we could do given the circumstances, I knew he wouldn't be pleased with it. For starts since he was under suspicion he wouldn't be able to actually help with it. I mean he could plan but he couldn't risk getting caught and expelled. Also, while it would drive him crazy it wouldn't put him in the hospital wing like James wanted.

Best to let him know when everyone was there, so I'd have more people on my side. "Yeah, I do. Long story though, and I'm going to need a lot of help. I think It would be best to explain it to you all at one, makes it a lot easier, don't you think?"

"But Scorpius knows!" Yes James, imitate a young, whining child's going to help you. Great plan, congratulations. "He's my brother, I think I deserve to know now!"

"You will know, when we get there."

"Thea, pleaaase?" It was then that I made one of the stupidest mistakes of my life. Almost as stupid as agreeing to Fred's stupid plan in the first place. I glanced at James, who was pouting and giving me puppy dog eyes. Those should be illegal.

Thankfully, I was saved from a most likely disastrous attempt at saying no to James by our arrival at the kitchens. I sighed in relief and turned to James, smiling brightly at his annoyed expression. "Now, stop pouting and help me convince everyone to help, okay?"

"Help? Everyone? How many people are we talkin-"

He trailed off, completely forgetting about what he was saying the minute he opened the door. "James?" He didn't reply, instead he just stood there in the doorway in shock. I sighed impatiently and shoved him out of the way, "Honestly, you'd think you've never seen a kitchen in your- Oh. Wow."

I understood James shock the moment I walked into the kitchen; even though Maddy, Vicky and Tilly hadn't showed up yet the kitchen was still packed with people, enough of them that the house elves appeared to be having nervous breakdowns trying to bring everyone food.

_How is it possible for Scorpius to have gathered so many people in less than an hour?!_

It was times like these that it really shocked me just how many people were part of Al's family. It seemed to me that every member of the Weasley/Potter family and their closest friends were present. Well, excluding Lucy of course. She was much too busy talking down to everyone and telling people off to help get revenge for her cousin.

I expected ten, give or take, but including the three who still hadn't shown up there was at least twenty people here.

Well, I guess that solves that problem.

The room turned completely silent the minute they noticed the three of us standing in the doorway. I shifted uncomfortably at all the attention and attempted to hide behind Molly, who was handling it a lot better than I was. She turned to the assembled group with a forced smile, "Okay, if this is going to work we're going to have to make some things clear, okay? First of all, you came to Thea for help, which means she's in charge of the plan. We will obviously all get a say in the planning but what she says goes."

"But I'm older than both of you!" I rolled my eyes at the immaturity and peeked over Molly's shoulder to see James Finnigan standing with Sam Thomas, who both looked rather annoyed with Molly's speech.

Frank Longbottom, who was sitting on one of the tables with Scorpius, Rose, Louis and some Slytherin kid (who everyone seemed to be glaring at), spoke up; "Which obviously doesn't make you any more mature, now does it?"

Sam narrowed his eyes, "Cause you would know. You're only in fifth year!"

Lorcan rolled his eyes, "Age has nothing to do with maturity or one's ability to lead. If you recall your father was quite young when he fought in one of the most important battles in history against people twice his age."

The Slytherin boy I had noticed earlier cleared his throat, causing most of the room to turn and glare at him. I wondered if he had done anything to actually offend anyone here, besides being sorted into the house of the person they had come here to plot against. He blushed under the attention and spoke in a quiet, shy voice, "I thought we came here to form a plan, not to argue."

Jason narrowed his eyes, "I'm here to get revenge, though I can't imagine why you're here. To find out our plans so you can warn Goyle? Or just because you enjoy seeing people suffer, no matter for what reason?"

I stared at him in shock, suddenly hoping it would turn out to be him helping Rita, I'd rather it be him than someone close to the family I actually liked. I understood the wariness towards Slytherins after the Battle of Hogwarts but to judge someone purely based on their house was just pathetic. I turned to him and spoke for the first time since I had arrived, "I assume this is based off the fact that he is from Slytherin? Being sorted into Slytherin means you are determined, ambitious and clever, not that you are evil."

He scowled, "His father was a death eater."

This boy is seriously stupid. "So is Scorpius' father and he turned out pretty well. We don't all turn out like our parents, if we did you wouldn't be such an arrogant prat."

Dominique, or Dom, grinned at me, "I vote her for leader, I don't care if she's younger than me."

Before I could thank her Molly turned to the Slytherin curiously, "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but why are you here? I mean, I didn't know you and Al were friends…"

Jason muttered something under his breath about 'didn't even know Zabini had any friends', which was rude and incredibly uncalled for, but true all the same. I didn't know who he was, but I had seen him around the castle before, and he was always alone.

He shrugged, "We're not, but I'm in a few of his classes, and he's one of the only people from his family that doesn't treat me like I'm evil because of my father. He's also the only one who calls me Alec, instead of Zabini. Scorp told me about the plan and asked me to help and I always help a friend when they ask."

Sensing this fight wasn't going to end on its own any time soon I quickly changed the subject, "Thanks for agreeing, Alec, we're all grateful. Now if you'd all stop arguing for two seconds and actually focus on the reason we're here it would be greatly appreciated. We all care about Al and we all hate Goyle, correct? So the plan is-"

I was about start explaining my brilliant plan I was knocked to the floor as Maddy and Vicky came running inside, dragging a blushing Tilly after them. I groaned and rolled over, "Seriously, Maddy? Ever heard of knocking before you enter a room instead of running in and knocking people over?"

She helped me up, still grinning and not looking the slightest bit ashamed, "Sorry about that, didn't want to miss the explaining of the grand plan. Now, we'll just go and take a seat and you can continue explaining."

Louis blushed, "There's some room on the table over here."

I grinned and internally did a little happy dance as I watched Tilly walk over and sit beside him. Now all I have to do is hope he doesn't freak her out too much. "Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, here's the plan. James and Scorpius can't be caught doing anything to him, like putting him in the hospital wing because otherwise they might get expelled. This also means that no one can just do something really bad to him either because they will automatically get suspicious and think James had something to do with it."

"So you're saying we can't do anything? This is my _brother _we're talking about!" Lily scowled.

"No, we're going to pull a lot of small pranks on him all the time so it drives him crazy. So that even if you do get caught it's for something little and no one gets in serious trouble. Now since James and Scorpius can't get caught doing anything so they can't help with the pranks so they can help me and Molly plan them."

Scott nodded, "That sounds like a good plan. How will we know when we need to help with one of the pranks?"

I thought for a moment, "Each prank will most likely be pulled off by a group of two or three so once we have one planned we will let the group know the plan and whoever thinks they could help with that plan can volunteer to be apart of it. That sound good?"

There was a gentle murmur of agreement and I sighed, relieved. "Brilliant, so we'll get started planning and we'll get back to you when we have our first full plan, yeah?"

James grinned, clearly relived to be able to help in some way, "Okay, so we have quidditch training straight after classes tomorrow so I'll tell you the password to the common room and you can meet us there afterward to plan?"

Molly leaned forward to whisper into my ear, "We can get there early and search their dormitory while they are at training, it's perfect!" before turning to James and letting him know we'd meet him there after dinner.

He smiled at me, "See you then."

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><p>There you go! I told you the last chapter was more of a filler and this one would be longer :) You will hear more about all the characters involved in the 'big plan' as the story goes on as most of them play an important role in the story at some point. You will also hear more from fred in the next chapter as well. Also a little more about the whole LouisTilly part of the story as well.

Don't forget to review and let me know what you think of it :)


	12. The Sneaking

"This is disgusting."

Molly rolled her eyes, "Stop being so dramatic. It's not even that bad."

"Not that bad?!" I glanced at her, just to make sure she was actually being serious. There is no way anyone could possibly find this room anything but terrifying. I mean I could only find one tiny spot where I could stand and have my feet actually touching the floor. I've decided I'm not going to move from the relative safety of this spot until we have to leave. "Have you actually lost your mind?"

"Honestly, this is clean compared to Hugo's room." I have never been more grateful that Molly's brother never trusted us enough to let us in his room. I mean how can anything be worse than this? There were clothes everywhere, half eaten plates of food, WWW merchandise and other things I didn't even want to know about. "Now the more you help me the quicker we can leave."

I look over to see Molly kneeling in a pile of muddy and smelly quidditch robes while she looked through Jason's trunk. "No, I think I'm quite comfortable here, thank you."

"James could catch us if we don't hurry up."

Right, this is James dorm as well. If he catches me not only think I'm insane but he will also think I'm a part of the creepy, obsessive group of giggly fangirls who seem to be massively obsessed with anyone related to 'The Chosen One'.

I mean that wouldn't be so bad, I'd just have to drop out of school, avoid anyone who knows him and hopefully move to Mars to escape the embarrassment of being compared to them.

Not bad at all. (please not sarcasm)

Seriously I know I may be obsessed but please don't think I'm like them. I'd rather be compared to like Voldemort. Except I don't think we would have any similarities at all to compare, unless I've always secretly wanted to take over the world without being aware of it.

Plus, I mean Voldemort could actually scare people, unlike me. Sometimes I wish I was more like Voldemort.

Molly dropped the stack of parchment she was going through. "What did you just say?"

I really need to work on the whole, not saying my thoughts out loud thing, don't I? "Uh, nothing, nothing at all. Now you continue with that and I'll just uh, keep watch? Yes. I'm going to stand out the front and stuff so bye!"

"Wait, don't make me do all this myself!"

I grinned evilly, "Well, you were worried about getting caught, yes? So I'll stand out the front and if you hear me greet one of the guys put the cloak on before they come in. Good? Great."

"Thea, I swear to-"

"See ya!"

I quickly ran to the door and escaped into the safety of the stairs, where there wasn't any dangerous WWW items hidden under piles of clothes that could potentially blow up on me if I stepped on them. Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually have a death wish.

I had only been outside for about approximately twenty seconds before I stared to hear voices in the stairwell. Ha! For once being lazy and not wanting to help actually paid off! I quickly opened the door and dragged Molly out, who was busy shoving what looked like a copy of _Witches Weekly_ in her bag.

We quickly ran down the stairs and into the fifth year dorms just as we heard James, Scott and Jason run past us and into their dorms. That was close. Molly and I shared a look of relief and were about to head down to the common room when we heard laughing from behind us.

I turned slowly to see both Scorp and Blondie watching us with amused expressions. Ah, this dorm actually had people in it. That's just great.

Blondie laughed and continued to change out of his quidditch robes as if we weren't even here, causing me to blush and advert my eyes. Scorp however, look curious, which is not a good sign. "Why were you in their dorm?"

I cleared my throat, "no."

Scorpius raised one eyebrow. Why can literally everyone but me do that? This is no unfair! "Excuse me?"

"Stop that."

He looked as though he was seriously questioning my sanity. Sadly, this is not the first time that has happened today. "Stop what? Are you… okay?"

I didn't need this, I had enough awkward encounters and stressful situations for one day. I have reached my capacity for thinking of creative ways out of them. I took a deep breath, "Okay, listen closely. I would like to think that we're friends, so I am not going to insult you by making up some bullshit excuse. Also, right now I'm feeling way too lazy to actually think of one, but that's not the point."

"Thank you?"

"I'm also not going to answer your question." He did some weird thing with his face, kind of like some weird spasm of disappointment. "I'm doing you both favours so you can repay me by never speaking of this and pretending it never happened."

Lou grinned, one of those annoyingly attractive ones which explained why he received over a hundred Valentine's Day cards last year, "did you sneak love potion in their drink bottles or something?"

I narrowed my eyes, "you're pushing your luck, Blondie."

He laughed, as in outright laughed in my face. This is so unfair. "Is that meant to scare me? I'm sorry but you're basically a puppy."

I huffed, "I am so scary."

He rolled his eyes, as if I were the one being ridiculous. "I'd like to see you try."

Damn it. What do I do? How do I do scare people? Do I yell? Do I threaten? How do you do this? I am not prepared! "Uhh… I'll… err… Not help you!"

Molly rolled her eyes, "you wouldn't!"

I stomped my foot angrily, only causing them to laugh more. Why am I friends with these people? "Fine, I'm going to go find friends that aren't massive poo heads. Good bye." Yes I know, I'm so pathetically nice that I can't even use good insults.

To avoid further embarrassment, because let's be honest I don't think I would have to avoid them for the rest of my life if that continued, I quickly ran back out of the room. Then ran right into James Potter.

It really isn't my day today.

"James!" I yelped, while trying to regain my balance. I heard molly snort behind me, letting me know that I wasn't imagining just how high pitched my voice came out. Great, the universe just can't give me a break today, can it? "Long time no see!"

He grabbed my arm to steady me, while trying to contain his laughter. Well, at least he tried, unlike my sad excuse for a best friend. "It's really been too long," he said seriously. Or should I say siriusly? Cause his middle name was Sirius, get it? Get it? Okay I'll shut up now. "How've you been?"

I grinned, I could do sarcasm. "Good, good. The last pay cut was a bit tough but we're getting by." He hummed in agreement. "You know, me and my cats. They say hi by the way, they miss you dearly."

Jason coughed, "My cats and I."

I looked up, "wha?"

He shrugged, "It's 'my cats and I' not 'me and my cats'." I suddenly don't feel guilty about dying his hair purple anymore.

Molly, as if sensing another failed attempt winning an argument coming on, grabbed my arm and dragged my down to the common room with her as fast as she could. Ah, I knew we were friends for a reason. "Is it bad that I'm kind of hoping that Fred is right?"

I laughed, "Nope, I can't stand him. I was so glad when Emma asked me to help her get back at him."

By the time we arrived in the common room, everyone but the quidditch team had already arrived. Noticing Alec sitting on one of the couched by himself, we joined him. He smiled at us but kept quiet while we waited for everyone else to arrive. Thankfully it didn't take long, I really wanted to get this over and done with.

I cleared my throat, "okay, so the plan." Alec laughed, muttering something that suspiciously sounded like 'nice start'. "First things first. When Albus gets out of the hospital wing in a few days does he want to help?"

Rose snorted, "of course! You're forgetting that Goyle's prank was originally meant for Scorpius. We all know how freakishly protective those two are of each other."

I nodded, ignoring Scorpius protest that was perfectly normal. It wasn't, they were scarily close. "Right we'll have to include him then. Now we are going to be split into groups of around three. This will be your pranking group. Each group will be given a prank idea, devised by the awesome team of awesomeness."

Tilly giggled, "I'm guessing your part of that team?"

I rolled my eyes, "of course! Each group will have a few different day over the next few weeks to do the prank. The day before your prank you are to meet Me, Molly, James and Scorp in the room of requirement where you will learn what you have to do. Understood?"

Lou glanced briefly at Tilly, "do we get to choose our 'pranking group.'"

James grinned, "nope. I have sorted you into groups based on your pranking err… experience. Each group has at least one person who knows what they're doing."

Molly cleared her throat before anyone could get too insulted, "Now if you complain about the groups you're out and can't help anymore. Simple as."

I rolled my eyes, "you? Telling people not to complain? Hypocrite."

She rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored me. "The groups are as follows: group 1: Dom, Alice, Lorcan and Lysander. Group two: Rose, Al and Alec. Group three: Tilly, Louis and Frank." Louis grinned at Tilly, who flushed furiously and looked away. "Group four: Thea, Me and Scott. Group Five: Victoria, Madeline and Jason. Group Six: Hugo, Lily, Sam and James F."

Wisely, because they were all a little scared of Molly, no one complained. Good. "Okay, Group one should meet us tomorrow morning and will do the first prank the day after. Group Two should meet us the day after group one's prank and group three the day after group two's, etcetera, etcetera. We will then start again so each group does two pranks. Understood?"

I grinned, relieved. That was a lot easier than I expected. I'm lucky Molly can actually scare people enough that they listen.

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><p>I'm not even going to try to make up an excuse for not updating in so long. Sorry..<br>This chapter is mainly a filler, but i hope you enjoyed it anyway! :)

**Don't forget to review! **


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